The Importance of Gl0rbus

A normal summer evening. As the sun descends, the purple hues reflect onto the windows of my neighbours as I sit on my balcony scrolling on instagram. My friend sends me a video. 

At first, it is a seemingly normal jazz vocabulary lesson; a man sitting at a piano teaching the audience about what to play over so-and-so and whatever. Soon, though, the video fries itself and transforms into chaos, weird images flashing quickly before landing on images of strange sim-like 3D models of modern jazz legends; Wynton Marsalis, Emmet Cohen, BB3. 

My friend sends me more and more videos following the same formula all from the same account, entitled Gl0rbus. I was overjoyed, honestly, that such a strange content creator happened to have the same interest as us, and was making content for such a niche audience. I felt inside on a joke, I felt invited to the party. I followed the account. 

Gl0rbus, never revealing their identity, would post frequently and impulsively. Quickly everyone in my inner circle became aware of the account and started keeping an eye on it. Soon after, Gl0rbus’ motives became clearer. The people he chose to satirize were not random; Gl0rbus was calling them out. 

There is a history of abuse and predatory behaviour in almost every subgenre of music. Take male professors, male producers, any man with success and regardless of profession or style, chances are he was (at the least) inappropriate with someone down the line. When you contextualize it into a genre that relies heavily on mentorship, close interpersonal relationships between players, and paying your dues, no one should be surprised that jazz musicians are kinda weird sometimes. 

I’ve been a jazz musician for around 3 years, and I know this truth having only met a handful of lesser known players. It’s no secret that fame can change a person, or that having endless praise and fawning can go to your head. If you take a musician who is already an ego-maniac and blow them up, it's almost more of a story if they don't take advantage of someone. Gl0rbus knows this and Gl0rbus is tired of the silence around it. Gl0rbus has been observing quietly for years and is using their shit-posting to get the word out: Emmet Cohen and Benny Bennack III are predators. 

All it took was a quick look into the accounts they were following. Strange for men in their mid-thirties to be following random girls that are clearly still in high school, no? Interesting for them to answer every comment left by young girls on their post, regardless of if he knows them personally, asking them to come see him next time he’s in their city. Soon, women began privately messaging Gl0rbus, testifying about their strange interactions with these musicians. It became the entire ethos of the account. It became a page dedicated to mocking, satirizing, yet also very seriously calling for the exposure of famous jazz musicians. 

This went on for a week or so. Then came the rebranding. 

Gl0rbus changed their username to Funnyjazzmemes, and began posting 2013-style common jazz jokes, about only calling autumn leaves or how difficult giant steps is. It took me a second to recognize Gl0rbus through this facade but the spirit shone through. This was only to preserve the account, as the news was getting back to Emmet Cohen, to BB3, and they were trying to take measures into their own hands. 

More testimonials, more callouts, more memes posted onto the stories. My friends and I are now closely following as events play out. Benny Benack posts a video and as I check the comments, I see a young singer I know, no older than 18, comment in praise of him. His reply “I will be in your city soon!”. 

The last story I saw Gl0rbus post was a screenshot of a legal document from Benny Benack’s lawyer, calling for the takedown of the posts, the allegations, the account, if not, legal action will be taken. The account was deleted, as were all of the posts, the memes, the callouts. A whisper into the wind. A speck of dirt under the rug. 

I am not sure what the so-called protocol is anymore. There are people that I know that have been publicly called out, for being predatory, weird with women, coercive, that are still loved and employed by this city’s music scene. I ask myself if it's possible for them to change. Logically I know that public ostracization and humiliation is not the way to rehabilitate people into being better humans. I know that forgiveness and humility go a long way, but emotionally, I believe anyone who hurts a child deserves to be murdered. 

Cancel culture is nothing. It is so nothing that people don't even speak about it anymore. It doesn’t work, how could it ever, with a name so stupid? People used to get stoned in the village square and now the ramifications for pedophilia are an angry social media post. Get real! 

As consumers of art, the people we choose to listen to, to see in concert, to idolize, are people that we are putting in power. All that I, all that Gl0rbus, is asking is to think critically as to who we metaphorically elect. My friends that are jazz musicians are some of the most sensitive, introspective and beautiful people that I have ever met, yet they can also be horribly narcissistic, obsessive and power-hungry. It is simply what it is to create art completely, maybe, to sacrifice the soul. 

I miss Gl0rbus. I pray for their return.